Looks like there's trouble brewing at the Golden Globes, Hollywood's drunkest and most patently ridiculous award show. (I know what you're thinking, but the Adult Video News Awards are held in Las Vegas.) As invitations are going out and seating charts are being designed, the producers of the event are realizing that they maybe don't have enough space to invite all those famous people from the movies and TV shows they nominated. Whoops! Damn this ensemble-heavy pop-culture year:
“It’s a nightmare every year,” says one studio publicity chief, “But this year is worse than ever, because this year, there are so many ensembles nominated. The Help's ensemble is like, fifteen people. And then there’s TV shows like Glee, Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire. Instead of a year where it’s a show like The Good Wife, where it’s just Julianna Margulies, it’s a mess.”
Ironically, while lots of stars want to go the the Globes and get bombed in expensive clothes, producers can't actually find anyone who wants to do work and present the awards. Apparently, stars who have been or might be asked to present at the Oscars have been warned away from taking any similar gig beforehand. That's cold, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
The obvious answer is to invite everyone and scuttle the ceremony entirely. Instead of giving out meaningless awards — and really, once you nominate Glee for anything, your awards are meaningless — devote the run-time to a giant game of famous person musical chairs. (Do I smell a cross-promotion deal with Oh, Sit?) I promise you that more people would tune in to watch Kristen Wiig hip-check Steve Buscemi onto the floor than to see if you like Rango over Puss In Boots.