Leave it to Roland Emmerich to make Shakespeare’s life an action movie in “Anonymous”

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Remember yesterday, when I was tentatively excited for a remake of the Hitchcock classic To Catch a Thief by the man who wrote Piranha 3D? This is not like that. (What can I say? History's my soft spot.) Roland Emmerich — the man who brought you Independence Day and 2012 — has made a film about the truth behind the question, "Who really wrote Shakespeare's plays?" (Shakespeare did. Blammo! Answered your question, Roland.) And wouldn't you know it? His frequent collaborator CGI Explosions has come along for the ride!

I think — and this is just speculation based off the trailer and the IMDb page — the plot follows Edward de Vere incurring the wrath of Queen Elizabeth, who then sets out to insure all his works will be attributed to someone else, that someone being good ol' Willy boy. Never let it be said that Emmerich is afraid of his reach exceeding his grasp:

But whither the tidal waves, Roland? Why dost thou forsake the spaceships? Cry havoc and let slip the escaped wolves from the Central Park Zoo that now roam the frozen tundra of what was once New York City!