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In case Forbes' lists of actual billionaires weren't enough to make you feel inadequate, the business publication has now released its annual "Fictional 15," a countdown of totally made-up people who still have more money than you could ever dream of.
Actually, the list is pretty fun, and provides more insight into why everyone on Downton Abbey is freaking the fuck out about the entail. Here are the stinking richest bastards of present-day pop culture:
1. Smaug (The Hobbit): $62 billion
2. Flintheart Glomgold (Disney's Uncle Scrooge cartoons): $51.9 billion
3. Carlisle Cullen (Twilight series): $36.3 billion
4. Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies): $9.8 billion
5. Tony Stark (Iron Man franchise): $9.3 billion
6. Richie Rich (Richie Rich franchise): $8.9 billion
7. Charles Foster Kane (Citizen Kane): $8.3 billion
8. Bruce Wayne (Batman franchise): $6.9 billion
9. Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump): $5.7 billion
10. Mr. Monopoly (Monopoly board game): $2.5 billion
11. Lisbeth Salander (Millennium trilogy): $2.4 billion
12. Tywin Lannister (Song of Fire and Ice series): $2.1 billion
13. C. Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons): $1.3 billion
14. Robert Crawley (Downton Abbey): $1.1 billion
15. Jo Bennett (The Office): $1 billion
So, some immediate thoughts. One: Carlisle Cullen is number three? As in the dude who turns his patients into vampires and then raises them as his incestuous children, and, more importantly, is a part of Twilight? Ew. Gross. Two: I love that the explanation for Forrest Gump's insane wealth is his tiny share in Apple. Three: Do you think the Marvel nerds are being all smug around the DC geeks now that they have proof that Tony Stark is richer than Bruce Wayne? Four: Wait, The Office? Really? Huh. Guess it's hard to keep tabs on those characters' net worths when you've utterly stopped caring since Steve Carell's departure.
Oh and in case you didn't notice, a dragon and a duck are infinitely wealthier than all the humans on this list. Which brings me back to that point about inadequacy. I feel it. In a major way.