Mortal Kombat returning to movie theaters in 2013

Pin it

I'm going to admit something embarrassing: this news makes me so excited I want to reach into someone's mouth and pull out their spine. While some people might think the two Mortal Kombat movies we already have — both exercises in utter stupidity and terrible special effects, both of which I obviously loved — are more than enough, Warner Brothers does not:

Warner Bros.' New Line Cinema label is partnering with the Burbank studio’s video game unit Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment to adapt for the big screen the tournament fighting series, which debuted on video game consoles in 1992. New Line is aiming to produce the new film next year and release it in 2013…

[Director] Tancharoen said his new movie, which is expected to be produced for well under $100 million, will offer a more realistic take on the Mortal Kombat characters, who are best known for over-the-top killing moves called "fatalities."

And that's where they lose me! You may remember the "gritty" trailer Kevin Tancharoen independently made a few years back, or the ten episode web series it spawned, which put the characters in a much more realistic, much less acid-spitting world; that trailer is the basis for the upcoming film. It had a certain appeal, but I don't come to anything Mortal Kombat associated for gritty realness. This film needs a world in which a woman can sonically scream the flesh off your bones. The movie will be ridiculous, no matter what (I'm sure we can all agree on that), so I hope that they won't deny the fans the chance to see someone get stomped to death by an alien centaur.

We all know what we really want to see: