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Natalie Portman's firstborn child has a name
By Ray RahmanJuly 6th, 2011, 8:30 pmComments (38)
And it is Jacob. No, no, we're kidding, it's not Jacob. According to People, glamorous movie star Natalie Portman and immigrant Benjamin Millepied actually named their recently born son Aleph, after the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. In case you're wondering (we were!), the letter following Aleph is Beth, so it would work out quite nicely if the engaged couple happened to follow up with a daughter. Or, if their next trip to the maternity ward brought them twins, the clan could be joined by both a Beth and some kid named Gimel.
But let us not count our Millepieds before they hatch, as now is the time for us to devote our energies toward Natalie's one and only true offspring, Aleph. Yet before we can love, we must understand. Says People of the child's exotic name:
Its esoteric meaning in Judaic Kabbalah, as denoted in the theological treaty Sefer-ha-Bahir, relates to the origin of the universe, the "primordial one that contains all numbers."
That's right, all numbers can be found within Aleph — your social security number, your ATM PIN, your target weight. Simply put, resistance is futile; all hail Aleph!
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Natalie Portman
Commentarium (38 Comments)
Why are you so snide?
One person's "snide" is another person's "nailed it."
And I'm still not through laughing at the picture.
I couldn't stop laughing at this picture.
I didn't start laughing at the picture until I read the comments about laughing at the picture.
Why are celebrities so esoteric with the naming of their children. Sometimes I feel like an unusual name only begets an average existence. When is the last time a child of a film star (that was given an unusual name) made anything of themselves that didn't end up as headline fodder?
I'll wait...
I think you should of had a question mark at the end of your first sentence.
An extraordinary existence is exactly that; an existence that is beyond the norm. It is hard to achieve a name for one's self, regardless of the name given at birth. Not only this but most household names are actually not the person's real name. In fact, Natalie Portman's real name is Natalie Hershlag. I don't see your point.
@@bottomliner
If you're going to bag on someone's grammar/punctuation you might want to double check your own.
It's "I think you should HAVE had a question mark..." not "should OF had."
Zing!
could of, should of, would of. hahaha
The Aleph is my favorite Jorge Luis Borges story. Maybe I'm giving Natalie Portman too much credit?
You probably are -- but, then again, who knows what she read up at Harvard.
She should have named him Luke.
And then died.
That sounded pretty dark.
She's a fine actress and an attractive young woman, so long as she doesn't smile.
I laughed.
Good try. But what about a Leia. Joke doesn't work without the other twin.
She's Israeli, a Hebrew name makes sense.
the thing is, it's not a name, it's a letter. it's like naming your son exclamation point.
More like naming your son 'N'
Or like naming him 'Zed'. Strange, but not crazy.
Aleph Millipied. Or: Aleph Hirschlag. Yeah, he'll turn out fiiiine.
Better those than Aleph Hitler.
How are we not making fun of "Millipied?"
It's just like naming your American kid A. Just A. Either way, Aleph can also mean "general" or "leader."
Don't know where your brought that from. in my (Hebrew speaking) world, Aleph is a letter.
LOL, "Kid A."
LOL
Aleph Millepied -- no there won't be any schoolyard beatings there, none at all.
One thing I know, though: If they have Gimel, he'll get all the Chanukah gelt.
she should've had her tubes tied before any of this happened. Just because you can (procreate), does not mean you should.
Wait... if the smart, talented, attractive, well-off people shouldn't have kids, who should?
I think muse_x was referring to Natalie Portman.
Wow. Way to describe a well known and talented principle dancer and choreographer for the NYCB as just an"immigrant".
Do you mean Millivanillipied?
This entire thing was hilarious, including the comments.
When celebrities give birth their eyes glaze over and they go into a trance-like state "I am Celebrity. Must give child strange name...I am CELEBRITY, must give child STRANGE NAME..."
Their child, their choice of name. Leave them alone to enjoy being parents.
It's not a particularly pretty name, but I don't see anything weird about it.