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Omigod, Demi Moore is like totally divorcing Ashton Kutcher
By EJ DicksonNovember 17th, 2011, 11:00 pmComments (15)
After weeks of tabloid stories of husband Ashton Kutcher's infidelity with a rando blonde chick, and years of being the butt of all cougar jokes/mistaken for Jennifer Connelly on the street, Demi Moore has apparently decided she's had enough. In a statement released to the Associated Press, Moore revealed that she's filing from divorce from Kutcher after six years of marriage:
"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation."
Following his soon-to-be ex-wife's graceful and dignified example, Kutcher tweeted via his alter ego, Smokey McPot, that he was sorry he's been a totally sucky husband, but last night was totally crazy and there were some space nerds and transsexual strippers and a continuum transformer involved and since then, he's learned that he should probably cut back on the shibbying.
JK! Kutcher is nothing like his character in Dude, Where's My Car. He's actually a really serious and eloquent person, which is why he tweeted the following after news broke of his divorce:
"I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail. Love and light, AK."
You know that your six-year marriage was really something special when the announcement of your divorce is preceded by a message in Spanish to the Two and a Half Men fans in Mexico. But anyway, thanks for the memories, guys. It's been a hot, sexy, Stwitter-filled, Kabbalah-braceleted, vacant-eyed and woodenly-acted six years.
Commentarium (15 Comments)
"Love and light" might be worse than "Seacrest out" in the pantheon of douchey signoffs.
I couldn't have said it better myself
I love 'Dude Where's My Car!' The tattoo scene is brilliant!
Sweet!
Dude!
Dude!
Demi Moore don't give a shit. She just takes what she wants.
Demi Moore is a honey badger?
I painted Demi's house in Ridgefield CT that she bought from Robert Vaughn - from the Man From U.N.C.L.E. TV spy series in the 70's (?) She was an incredibly rude bitch. She would approach me with her admin assistant and instruct her what to say to me - in front of me - and I had to respond to the assistant as if she were an interpreter
I'm kind of amused by that... not funny that it happened to you, but funny that it actually happens that way.. you should have looked at her and said " THE WAAAALLL ISS REEEEEED LIKE YOU ASKED" as if she were half deaf or from the middle of the rainforrest.
I'm the last person who'd defend stuck up celebritards, but I can see one pov that could justify Demi taking such a course of action: if she talks to the 'riff-raff' personally then she never knows when a nutcase might take it to heart, and believe she's 'secretly' communicating some sort of positive liking for him/her self. She does it the way you experienced (through an assistant) then no personal communication is instigated, therefore no potential nutcase has nothing to hang their hat on re: delusions. So it's a case of a few potential bad apples setting the tone for everyone. Of course, it could be it's simply a 'I'm too good to deal with the riff-raff' angle that resulted in such a ploy, but I think the former scenario has as much weight as the latter. I doubt any celebritard female is unaware of the fate Sharon Tate suffered, given celebritards attract psychotards like pollen attracts bees.
Wtf was all that CNN shit about sex slavery earlier in the year from AK? Like if you're gonna start a cause, you know, stick with the muthafukka. Don't just make shit up to look concerned. Dude, uncool. You were banging some random chickeroo while filming that shit.
...and wearing a stupid lookin' hat while lying about giving a shit. The suit and beanie hat look is so ... never. And while I'm ranting, let me say that your twitter infatuation is such a dickwad move. People just think you're an asshole, my friend (not). If you could act it might be different, but when people watch you they just think that any slacker could do what you do, so what's the biggie? So Demi (god), find some old dude with spare cash, suck it up and suck it off and be grateful that your fame got you this far ('cos it sure as shit wasn't acting ability).
Seriously, who gives a shit?
Ummm...you, apparently enough to warrant such a diatribe...