Musical version of Rocky coming soon; dreams do come true

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Rocky Balboa

Hey, big Hollywood types, I think I finally understand how you think. Got a great feel-good-movie with a confident star and testosterone-soaked soundtrack that became one of the highest grossing films of its year? Reproduce the storyline and turn it into a franchise! What do you do after you've released five sequels, each progressively more trite and depressing than its predecessor? You remake the original! Wait, what did you say? You turn the original into a musical and schedule it to debut in Germany in 2012? …really?

Really! Sylvester Stallone has announced his plans to open a musical version of Rocky, a film he both wrote and starred in, in Hamburg, Germany. Stallone has also teamed up with Ukrainian boxing brothers Vitali and Wladimir Klitschko, who will serve as co-producers and boxing trainers for the yet-to-be-cast lead. While this sounds like a surprising (read: stupid) project, the musical transfer has been gestating for quite some time; earlier in 2011, Tony-winners Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty, and Thomas Meehan were revealed as part of the creative team. In a statement to the Hollywood Reporter, Stallone admitted that he felt this showtune-ification of his classic boxing film was the next logical step for Rocky:

At the end of the day, Rocky is a love story and he could never have reached the final bell without Adrian. To see this story coming to life on a musical stage makes me proud. And it would make Rocky proud.

Well as long as it makes Rocky proud! Oh, and as long as there's a song called "Eat Lightning and Crap Thunder." Only then will I be okay with this.