Sofia Coppola's next project about the lives of the idle rich, called The Bling Ring, will tell the true story of a gang of California teens who repeatedly burglarized the homes of celebrities like Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan, and Audrina Partidge in 2009. (Quick aside: could they really not think of better celebrities to rob? George Clooney is A-list and spends all his time in Italy. Rob him!) Since it's still early in production, not much was known about the film: it's based on actual events, sure, but Coppola's been willing to trade accuracy for filmic flair before. And the cast list was intriguing: Hermione Granger herself, Emma Watson, had signed on as a member of the ring, as had American Horror Story's Taissa Farmiga, and Leslie Mann as an ex-Playboy bunny mom.
But the folks over at the Playlist recently got their hands on the script, and they've shared some goodies that make me want to see this film immediately. In fact, all I needed to be convinced was the opening:
"The script opens (after a knowing quote from Nicole Ritchie's Twitter page) in media res, with the gang breaking into a Hollywood mansion, followed by indicators of their future arrest, and glimpses of interviews by the teens with journalists after the fact."
The words "after a knowing quote from Nicole Ritchie's Twitter page" just made my year, and I am not joking. That sounds so terrible and trashy and winking and perfect. If that's not enough to win you over, you should know that Mann's first line is "Girls! Time for your Adderall!" If that's not enough, you should know that Watson (probably) does a sexy dance with a handgun stolen from 90210's Brian Austin Green. And if that's not enough, then I don't know what else to say to you. You're dead to me.
You can head over to the Playlist for even more info about the screenplay, which has no release date scheduled. But no matter when it ends up being, it will be too far away.