Having now conquered (or at least dabbled in) reality TV, disgraced evangelical pastor Ted Haggard is making a cameo in the trailer for a planned "pro-abstinence Christian sex comedy." Those last four words are rarely seen together, something the two Christian comedians behind The Waiting Game are hoping to change. "[Christians are] just starving for anything comedy," according to writer/producer Emilio Martinez.

Martinez and his co-creator, Rich Praytor, are both former stand-up comics who found the comedy scene spiritually empty. (Which... probably fair.) They've written a comedy about a guy who saves himself for marriage, gets dumped at the altar, and then runs around trying to get laid like the rest of us. In the Haggard scene, the heartbroken schlemiel (wait, what's the gentile word for schlemiel?) tells a friend, "I’m so frustrated, I’m just going to do what I want... it’s not like it’s going to wind up on the front page of the newspaper;" Haggard leans in and quips, "Hey buddy, I wouldn’t do that if I were you."

Haggard actually kind of flattens the delivery, but the filmmakers do attempt to help out with a cowbell sound effect. To be honest, this whole thing looks pretty grim, despite the presence of reliably fun stars like... Ted Haggard and, um, Full House's Candace Cameron. And it's actually not a film yet; they've got a script and a trailer, and are hoping to raise two-million dollars to complete the thing.

But what's crazy is that no matter how inept and low-budget The Waiting Game looks, it could be an enormous success. The 2008 Kirk Cameron "Christian drama" Fireproof cost $500,000. Wikipedia politely notes that "reviews for the film were positive from Christian film critics [but] mostly negative from other film critics." That didn't matter much, because Fireproof made $33 million. So watch for The Waiting Game, coming soon to theaters probably not very near you.

Commentarium (30 Comments)

May 31 11 - 6:04pm
jeeeezus

That's so gay.

May 31 11 - 6:08pm
y

why does nerve describe Haggard as disgraced? because he's bi or because he cheated, cause neither of those is disgraceful anywhere else.

May 31 11 - 6:22pm
Scott

How about because he openly railed against those 'immoral' behaviors, what with being in the position of a friggin' evangelical pastor. Distinctions can be a bitch sometimes.

May 31 11 - 7:07pm
y

so is hypocrisy.

May 31 11 - 7:40pm
Nick

First of all, I think most people would say that cheating on your spouse with a prostitute is disgraceful even without all other factors. Second, he is the hypocrite in this situation. He taught others that homosexuality and drug use are immoral while using meth and having a sexual relationship with another man.

I don't think it is a stretch to describe that disgraced.

May 31 11 - 10:20pm
julian.

The problem I have with Haggard is not that he cheated on his wife, hired a male prostitute or even purchased Meth. My problem with him is that he spewed his "moral" anti-gay bullshit and then was caught to be a hypocrite.That is why he is disgraced.

May 31 11 - 10:44pm
y

@Nick - Take a look at the discussion about Strauss-Kahn (?). Prostitution and cheating is just good, clean fun.

Haggard isn't disgraced, he's simply human.

May 31 11 - 10:52pm
epic

if he hadn't been a guy who thundered about morality, then he'd be simply human.

he is a heroic hypocrite. he's not simply human. he's sub-human.

May 31 11 - 10:58pm
y

Really? Really? You'd categorize him as sub-human for having human weaknesses? Judgemental much?

May 31 11 - 11:06pm
epic

yes, i'm extremely judgemental of people who made a fortune judging others while cheating on their wife with a gay prostitute paid in meth.

ask santa jesus for clarity on this if you find it so difficult to understand.

Jun 01 11 - 11:04am
y

Your comments are not not worthy of serious discussion. Be careful throwing stones, living in a glass house and all.

Jun 01 11 - 1:51pm
epic

the advantage i have over you is, i pissed away 3 years of my life in your santa jesus, fundie cult. so i know the secret handshake, and the tricks, like the one you're using right now.

you're being contrarian, pretending what haggard did isn't a big deal, and that you've never felt infidelity, prostitution, homosexuality, and drug use were big deals. in reality, they were and are huge issues to the hypocritical fundie cult to which you belong.

so by suddenly pretending 'meh - he cheated on his wife with a gay prostitute and paid the guy in meth,' you put the onus back on atheists/seculars to defend their refusal to forgive a hypocrite, rather than on this greasy cunt of a human being who now smirks at us as he mocks his own transgressions.

if you, or if i for that matter, had to find 1) a gay prostitute, or 2) meth, we'd have no idea where to look. if we found either we'd be just as likely yo get arrested as to score. haggard was a pro at this, which means he'd been doing it for years. a lot. that's not 'human weakness.'

human weakness is 'honey when i was on that business trip i had a second glass of wine and we were working late and i hooked up with janice from accounting. i'm so, so sorry.'

what haggard did was a calculated, protracted, recreationally cruel thing.

your refusal to hammer him as mercilessly as you hammer other 'sinners' is totally transparent to those of us who base our morality on whether or not it hurts someone, instead of on bronze age fairy tales.

and the other fundie trick you're using is to pretend this discussion is beneath you, now that you've been shown to be a troll.

i don't live in a glass house, a cliche. i live in the real, fact based, world. i don't throw stones. i make observations of behavior.

haggard is a hypocrite, and a cunt and he is utterly lacking in remorse. he mocks your 'faith' with his smirk, as he parrots words like 'forgiveness' and 'through grace alone'. so keep believing him and keep being lied to, and keep telling yourself you are morally superior.

Jun 01 11 - 3:12pm
julian.

Well said epic. Too bad y won't listen to you.

Jun 01 11 - 7:26pm
y

yawwwwnnnnnnn.

Jun 01 11 - 9:20pm
julian.

see?

Jun 01 11 - 10:48pm
epic

oh, i see. it's what finally confirmed to me that evangelical christianity is a cult like any other. that gift they have of latching onto any behavior they disapprove of and shaking it like a dog with a piece of rope, while simultaneously poo-pooing an identical behavior commited by a member of the anointed.

on the down side, evangelical girls fuck like there's no tomorrow. my goodness, they are filthy. and they like NSA cause it allows the continued illusion of them not dating, drinking, or fucking.

best of luck, all. cheers -

Jun 05 11 - 8:32am
y

Silly, silly boy. What Haggard did was deplorable. Homosexual conduct, cheating on his wife, drugs, prostitution, etc should all be condemned. But when someone turns away from those things, they should be forgiven.

Should we fault you for wasting three years of your life?

I also think it's hilarious you assume I'm an "evangelical Christian." Care to back that one up.

Interesting, too, that homosexuality, cheating, drugs and prostitution are all portrayed in a positive way on this site, unless they can be used to bludgeon someone like Haggard.

Jun 06 11 - 3:35pm
epic

and this is the part you don't get. homosexuality, infidelity, drugs, and prostitution *aren't* deplorable. in most western industrialized nations, they're considered victimless crimes and of no real significance or relevance. it's only the faux puritan fundie shriekers that seem troubled by them.

so me, I could care less who haggard fucks, or who he's cheating on, or what his side-piece does for a living, or how haggard pays his side-piece. who does care - as long as it's not a fundie caught doing it - are fundies.

the point is, he hasn't turned away from it. his little leering smirk, and the fact that he's back in business, and shameless enough to make light of his 'sins', that's all the proof i need that he's an unrepentant cunt. so fuck him.

yes, you should fault me for wasting three years. i knew better than to trust in tripe like unconditional love, forgiveness, acceptance, and joy. it was a con job, and i fell for it by believing in something that was obviously too good to be true. people are people, and a group of people claiming to be better than all the other people were most likely looking to rip me off. and they did. lesson learned.

you're smug, contrarian, and argumentative. when i see those three in combination, i just assume fundamentalist. since you're defending haggard, you must be fundie christian.

see above. i don't give a shit about the specifics of his sin, except that his sin is the sin he seemed so passionately against, before he was exposed as being enthusiastically for it.

May 31 11 - 7:46pm
epic

you mean haggard's hypocrisy? yes, it is a bitch. and so is he.

cheating on your wife is bad. cheating with a man is worse. cheating with a gay prostitute? worse still. paying gay prostitute with meth? worsest of the worst.

and while doing all that, he bellows at 30 million (i said 'million') of his followers about morality.

there's hypocrisy and there's haggard. he takes 'cunt' to a whole new level. there is not enough shame and scorn in this world for a cunt like him. pretend all day your santa jesus has forgiven him, and you, and maybe even me, but i won't bother trying to let what he did slide.

May 31 11 - 7:54pm
sem

my eyes now ache.

May 31 11 - 8:19pm
AT

Can we just imagine for a second how bad sex with that abstinent frustrated guy would be? *shudder.

Jun 01 11 - 1:53am
BitchesAintShit

Well, maybe if you gave him a chance and not judged him and was a little patient and not let your obvious biases sneak in....

May 31 11 - 10:23pm
julian.

That movie looks just terrible and I'm not saying this because I have some perogative which puts me against abstinence or anything, if someone wants to do that, it doesn't effect me so why should I care? I think a movie about this subject could be kind of funny even if it was subtly pushing an obvious pro-abstinence agenda. The trailer looks unfunny, the jokes were stupid and the delivery was bad; it looks boring.

May 31 11 - 10:44pm
x

Kind of like your post?

Jun 01 11 - 1:49am
jeeeezus

Bravo, x!! So julian, he preaches against adultery and then he has an adulterous affair. He preaches against prostitution and then hires a prostitute. But it's only the "gay" hypocrisy that you find disgraceful? Where in Europe are you from?

Jun 01 11 - 3:13pm
julian.

I'm actually from Indiana, but the other parts offend me too because he rallied against those and ended up a hypocrite. So, don't put words in my mouth plzkthanx<3bye

and sorry you don't like my comment x, I'll try harder next time

Jun 01 11 - 7:27pm
x

I doubt your best is good enuf.

Jun 01 11 - 9:21pm
julian.

;<

May 31 11 - 11:24pm
N E One Kan

What's the gentile word for schlemiel? There doesn't need to be one! Anyone of any ethnicity can be a schlmiel. It's an equal-opportunity concept.

Jun 01 11 - 10:16am
Julian

(not the julian. above, incidentally)
So are all the Cameron's mentally unbalanced?
And gentiles may not have a special word for schlemiel, but I believe the literal Anglo-translation of 'putz' is 'Trump'.