Has anyone been watching the new season of Project Runway? (Yes, it is in fact still on.) In a recent episode, the contestants were told they'd be designing a dress for a fashion icon — someone fabulous, demanding, and world-famous. Oh, the misplaced hope you could see in those poor people's faces — the "client" was Miss Piggy, who is not real, and whom no one thinks of as a fashion icon. (Drag-queen inspiration? Sure. Future delicious side of bacon? Yes, please!) The whole thing struck me as very sad, like a feeble attempt at Christmas decorations at a strip mall.
And I kind of feel that way about the fact that I'm writing about Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy's response to the ridiculous charge leveled against them by Fox News that their new movie was anti-capitalist propaganda. That was so stupid in the first place, but now reporters are asking puppets to respond to the allegations, even though they are fabric. ("Breaking: Read What Jwoww's Cut-Off Jean Shorts Think About Vinny's Departure from Jersey Shore!") Has there been a gas leak?
That said, it is clear to me that in this relationship Miss Piggy is the James Carville to Kermit's Mary Matalin. "Oh no, we love oil companies!" Have you no empathy for your aquatic brethren in the Gulf of Mexico, Kermie? Does the image of their oil-coated bodies not fill you with rage? For shame, you frog Judas! For shame.