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Generous Woody Allen would still have deigned to direct “not very sexy” Bette Davis

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Woody Allen creeping

Given his decades of moviemaking and auteur status, you would probably expect Woody Allen to give great answers to the prompt, "Which iconic actresses would you have loved to direct?" What you might not expect is a frat boy's game of "Hot or Not: Old Hollywood" courtesy of Mr. Allen. Unfortunately, that's what we got.

Though he praised Judy Holliday for her comedic abilities and Kim Stanley for her sheer talent, Allen's other three picks were evaluated in terms of sexiness. Vivien Leigh? "A great actress and sexy." Anna Magnani? "The most exciting actress I ever saw and, in her own way, very sexy." Bette Davis? "Not very sexy but a very exciting actress."

Whew! Glad you were able to overcome Bette's general repulsiveness and admit that you would've directed a woman whom basically everyone considers one of the greatest actresses of all time. I know that was probably embarrassing for you to pick a non-hottie (or "nottie," as that Paris Hilton movie taught us), but I'm glad you kept it real, man. If only more filmmakers in Hollywood had your courage and conviction.

Seriously though, Woody, I don't care who you are — and these days, you're mainly the man who keeps perpetuating that "Scarlett Johansson can act" myth — you do not slight Bette Davis. You just don't. And since Margo Channing is no longer around to kick your ass, I will gladly do it for her.