In my mind, God-inspired abstinence is like doing coke in the bathroom at the company Christmas party: I don't think it's wise, but hey, live your dreams. But if you choose to do it, please, please don't put on a wig and starting rapping about it in front of everyone. The result can be an awkward reprimand on Monday morning, potential unemployment, or, in the case of these plucky musical virgins, a video, entitled "Super Grace."
The video comes from Skit Night 2011, an annual talent show at a swanky bar in lower Manhattan (kidding! it was at the University of Florida), and surfaced on the internet this morning. It chronicles the struggles of a young girl in a turquoise wig, who's got something of a crush, but also wants to wait to have sex until God and marriage say it's right. The pre-roll text says "Based on 'Super Bass' and the Bible."
The Bible says lots of stuff, so I won't quibble there, but "Super Bass?" Have you seen that video? "Super Bass" might be about a girl with a crush, but Nicki's pink-leopard-clad ass does things to that motorbike made of ice that indicate a thoroughly carnal set of intentions.
Maybe that's the point — some sort of virginified re-appropriation. I don't know. I do know it's awkward as hell:
Sorry about that. But, if you made this far, there is one upshot to this entire thing. Did everyone know about Christian Nightmares? There is an entire Tumblr devoted to this sort of thing. And it is marvelous.