Darren Aronofsky is directing Loutallica’s first video

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For fans of the Lou Reed/Metallica collaboration (all six of you), this must be great news: Darren Aronofsky, the auteur behind Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, and Black Swan, will be directing Loutallica's first music video, for their upcoming single "Iced Honey."

Holy crap. Just when I thought this clusterfuck couldn't get packed with any more out-of-control ego or Wagnerian bombast, Aronofsky steps up the plate. Anyway, onto the public fellating. Metallica drummer, Lars Ulrich:

"As if making a record with Lou Reed is not enough, now I get to make a video with Darren Aronofsky, who has been among my very favorite filmmakers since his first movie, Pi."

Reed expressed similar admiration for Aronofsky, and said that he hopes the video "can be his next Black Swan." Given Lulu's profound awfulness, that's pretty unlikely, but a gal can dream.

It's not that I'm railing against Aronofsky for wanting to make a music video, or against Metallica or Lou Reed for wanting him to make theirs. But this perfect storm of egos with little to no sense of humor about themselves seems certain to produce something so mindboggingly pretentious that we'll all either laugh or die crying. So, quoth James Hetfield: "Yeaahhheyahhhheyyyyyahhaha!"