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Gene Simmons disses Rihanna in an attempt to start most baffling celebrity feud ever

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Rock-star feuds have been going on since Salieri famously called Mozart a "no-talent, VD-ridden hack" at their mutual friend's girlfriend's flat-warming party in Salzburg (true story; I think it's from one of the deleted scenes from Amadeus). Now, KISS frontman Gene Simmons is continuing the venerable tradition of one idiot calling another idiot an idiot by publicly hating on — wait for it — Rihanna.

Last Tuesday, at a press conference announcing KISS's upcoming North American tour with co-headliner Motley Crue, Simmons told a bunch of journalists at the Roosevelt Hotel that Princess RiRi's music does not, in fact, make him want to rock and roll all nite and/or party every day. While discussing how pop acts are now headlining at the stadiums and arenas where rock bands like KISS used to play, Simmons said:

"We're sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them. No fake bullshit. Leave that to the Rihanna, Shmianna and anyone who ends their name with an 'A.'"

You hear that, KISS fans? Chaim Weitz from Jackson Heights, Queens, a grown-ass man who wears facepaint and prances around in Judy Jetson hooker boots, is taking a stand against fake bullshit.

Seriously, no disrespect to Chaim or anything, but however valid this criticism might be, it nonetheless reeks of grizzled ol' rock codger grumpiness; it's basically one derisive grunt and finger-wag away from Neil Young screaming at you to get the hell of his lawn, you crazy kids. Not to defend Rihanna, but why gripe about her, of all people? Did she cut you in line at a TCBY or something? Did you skim Wikipedia for a Barbadian pop star to randomly hate on, and the guy who sang "Build Me Up Buttercup" wasn't available? And, finally, the most perplexing question of all: if you don't have any beef with Rihanna specifically, and you were just trying to conjure up the name of any pretty, well-coiffed, bubblegum starlet, why the hell wasn't Bieber the first one that popped into your head?