Thought Jay-Z was going to stop talking about his infant daughter for one second? Think again, jackasses.
After making little Blue Ivy the youngest person ever to be credited on the U.S. Billboard charts (for the song "Glory"), Jay-Z has written a poem to her in which he swears to never use the word "bitch" again. Here are some of Hova's couplets:
"Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich / I didn't think hard about using the word bitch / I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it / Now with my daughter in the world I curse those that give it."
Jay-Z goes on to say that the "degradation has passed" and that no man will demean his "angel." The poem does not specify whether terms such as "ho," "skank," and "strumpet" will be affected by the passing of said degradation.
I could point out how it's a smidgeon hypocritical to call countless other people's daughters bitches for years and then "curse those" who use the word once you have your own kid. But I'm obviously more concerned about how Jay-Z is going to rap "99 Problems" from now on. I got 99 problems and a… refined lady who deserves your respect, goddammit, ain't one? Actually, forget it, that sounds awesome.