Listen: The Worst Makeout Mixtape Ever

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I love the girls of The Hairpin, and I hope to one day make out with each and every one of them. Fortunately for creeps like me, Vulture alumnae Edith Zimmerman has posted onto Hairpin "The Worst Mixtape Ever," which means that I'll know exactly what not to play when I want to set the mood at those New York media parties to which I'm not invited enough (cough).

So what bands are on the World's Worst Mixtape? Pretty much the ones you might expect, from Staind to Color Me Badd to Terry Gross Interviews Stephen Colbert (in fact, if you habitually make out to shuffle mode, it'd be prudent to go ahead and uncheck all the podcasts in your iTunes library). My only bone of contention is the inclusion of Gin Blossoms' "Hey Jealousy," a delightful song that, for some, is a nostalgic reminder of make-out sessions past.

Nonethess, you can check out the entire playlist below, or listen to the whole thing for yourself over at Hairpin.

1. The D.O.C. – “Bridgette”

2. Dezrok – “Star Wars Imperial March Techno Remix”

3. Sarah McLachlan – “In the Arms of an Angel”

4. Uncle Luke – “Do-do Brown”

5. Gin Blossoms – “Hey Jealousy”

6. Bare Naked Ladies – “If I Had a Million Dollars”

7. Staind – “It’s Been Awhile”

8. Les Miserables soundtrack – “On My Own”

9. Color Me Badd – “I Wanna Sex You Up”

10. John Legend – “Ordinary People”

11. Bill Withers – “Use Me”

12. Terry Gross Interviews Stephen Colbert

13. Ludacris – “You’s a Ho”

14. Felix Mendelssohn – “The Wedding March”

15. The Ying Yang Twins – “Wait"