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No, Adele isn’t taking a five year break from music

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Adele — who has now officially won, like, at life — covers this month's Vogue and in the accompanying story broke some news that gave some people a bit of a shock: after releasing a diamond-selling album, getting straight up pummeled with awards, and undergoing throat surgery, the singer was going to take a break from the music industry for a few years. ("I am fucking off for four or five years," in her charmingly brusque words.) I know what you're thinking: what will I listen to on car rides with my parents/sing very loudly to myself when my roommates aren't home/cry to after I've had a whole bottle of red wine?! Important questions all, I know. I mean, you could obviously just use 19 and 21, but eventually that would get tired and the play count on your iTunes would get embarrassingly high.

But don't worry! Adele would never leave you; she's much to wonderful and talented and generous to do such a thing. (Truly, she is too good for this world. We should start tithing.) She set the record straight on her blog:

I’ve a few days off now, and then it’s the Brit Awards here at home and then I’m straight into the studio. BOYYAHH! 5 years? More like 5 days!

I know my hyperbole above makes it sound like I'm not really that into Adele, but I have to tell you that I was at least 75-80% serious about all of that. So I consider this to be excellent news. Of course, the woman is still bouncing back from that surgery. Hopefully she doesn't work herself back into a precarious vocal situation. So, bets now: will the next album be called 23 (if she's speedy), 24 (if she's reasonable), or 22 (if she has a time machine)?