A few days ago, Miley Cyrus caught some flak from Internet types for being photographed with a penis-shaped cake at boyfriend Liam Hemsworth's birthday party (above). This incident, compounded with the controversy over Cyrus being presented with a ganja cake at her birthday party a few months back, would lead most people to conclude that Miley Cyrus is either a typical nineteen-year-old girl with occasionally questionable judgment, or an ideal candidate for an exceptionally badass celebrity edition of Cake Boss.
Rather than find Miley's encounter with the penis-shaped pastry endearingly vulgar, however, conservative watchdog group the Culture and Media Institute treated the incident as the final layer of icing atop a figurative "Miley Cyrus is a godless whore" Satancake (which, y'know, is like a regular cake, except filled with fire and brimstone and Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps' pubes). The organization, which aims to "preserve and help restore America's culture, character, traditional values, and morals against the assault of the liberal media elite," recently slammed Cyrus for her "sleazy" behavior, calling the penis cake "disgusting" and Miley herself "the epitome of the anti-role model for young girls."
This is not the first time the CMI has aimed its specific brand of self-righteous indignation at the former Disney pop princess. After Cyrus released her video for "Can't Be Tamed" in 2010, the group coined the term the "Miley Cyrus Effect" to describe the trend of young girls "act[ing] like trashy adults" in public. This time, however, the CMI views Cyrus's SexyCakes snafu as indicative of a larger trend of "Hollywood promoting women behaving badly," pointing to the upcoming raunch comedy Bachelorette starring Kirsten Dunst as evidence that the "liberal media elite" is turning female moviegoers across the country into vodka-swigging, pot-smoking, penis-cake-licking prostitution whores.
So let's say, for the sake of argument, that CMI has a point. Let's say that all the women in Hollywood — Miley Cyrus, Kirsten Dunst, the entire cast of Bridesmaids, and Flo the Progressive Insurance Lady — are collectively turning the ladies of America into foul-mouthed, ill-mannered Dane Cooks with uteri. If this is the case, then let me just be the first to say that that is fucking awesome, and we should all thank Miley for her contributions to American feminism by driving over to the nearest Wal-Mart and buying up every single DVD of The Last Song.