Shut down the Father of the Year awards right now, people, because we have a winner! Ronald Fenty, the formerly estranged father of Rihanna, recently gave an interview with Heat magazine in which he pretty much schools the world on how to be an awesome dad. We're talking Mike Brady-level parenting, so all you gentleman out there who want to have kids one day, listen up. For instance, how does Ronald help Rihanna deal with the immense pressure of having her body scrutinized by a bajillion people all the time?
"I actually thought she was a little fat the last time I saw her," he said. "When I saw her at this year's Grammys, I thought she was back to her normal size. I used to joke with her, 'Robyn, you're getting too fat.' But I think she's fine. I think she looked excellent, as everyone saw, at the Grammys. She's dieting, she's working out.''
Perfect. Ladies, just because you end up on a few "sexiest people in the world" lists, please don't think that means you can be slacking. Dads and dads-to-be, please remember to tell your daughters that she'll always be beautiful to you, except maybe she's gained a few pounds since Easter, and should rethink having that dessert? I'm sure she'll appreciate the input.
But Ronald also discussed more weighty matters. (A+ pun. You're welcome.) The interview also addressed the abusive albatross around the neck of any feature about Rihanna. So, what does her father think of Chris Brown, the young man who severely beat his daughter's face with a steering wheel while threatening to kill her two years ago?
''Chris is a nice guy and everybody's entitled to make mistakes in their life. God knows how many I've made," Fenty tells the new issue of Heat magazine, when asked about the singer collaborating with her ex on two songs.
Ugh. I'm not saying I condone street justice as a solution to any problems like this, but if I ever have a daughter and a guy so much as smacks her, I will need to be restrained because I will crush him. And I can't imagine a lackluster song collaboration will convince me otherwise. But thank you for clearing things up for me, Ronald Fenty. Now that period of estrangement makes so much sense!