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Rolling Stones fail to show up to their own tribute show

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After decades together, thousands of gigs, and untold quantities of drugs you've never even heard of, it seems fitting that the Rolling Stones get a tribute show to honor their place as one of the most influential bands in history. On Tuesday night, nearly two dozen bands and artists got together in Carnegie Hall to honor the ancient rockers in a spectacle fit for the rock gods — oh, but funny story, none of the Rolling Stones showed up. 

Why the legendary band all decided to snub acts like Italian singer Jovanotti singing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" with members of TV On The Radio and a goddamn youth choir, or Marianne Faithfull singing "As Tears Go By," is unknown. Maybe they were all building houses for the needy, maybe they were taking care of that whole Kony problem, maybe they were synthesizing a cure for cancer — or maybe they were just wading around in their swimming pool full of money. 

Obscene wealth aside, the members of the band have been keeping busy. In 2010, Mick Jagger recorded a new version of "Plundered My Soul" for the Exile on Main St. re-release, and has recorded an album with his band Superheavy. For those who've never heard of the supergroup, or have wisely chosen to stay away from them at all costs, Superheavy features Jagger, Joss Stone, Dave Stewart, Damien Marley, and… Indian composer A.R. Rahman? So if you're a big fan of reggae-rock-Indian-electronica-soul… you should really narrow your shit down and sort your life out, because the video for their song "Miracle Worker" makes you feel like your ears have just been kicked in the balls. (A.R. Rahman — seriously, what are you doing in this band? Don't you have an Oscar? And you're hanging out with the guy from Eurythmics?)

Regardless of their side projects, The Rolling Stones will always have a place in my heart, as well as the hearts of the artists who honored them in Carnegie Hall. Modern music wouldn't be nearly as dashing or charmingly irreverent without the Stones' influence — so after all that lip service (just a drop in the ocean), why can't they be bothered to show up for a concert offering even more praise?