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The 5 shows that will get you laid at the CMJ music festival

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Jenny Lewis

The CMJ Music Marathon kicks off today as hundreds of bands descend upon New York for a five straight nights of shows in hopes of being hailed as the next next-big-thing. While the bands seek love from their audiences, you should be seeking love of a different kind. Here are the five CMJ shows most likely to get you laid.

BRAHMS, Young The Giant, Oberhofer, Pearl and the Beard, Hooray for Earth, Yukon Blonde.  Ok, so this show takes place in the afternoon, but hear me out — the killer synth-pop tunes of Oberhofer will have you dancing like it's three am, and this showcase is presented by a blog called The Music Slut — which means sexiness. Anyway, it's completely free, so you have no excuse not to get your unemployed self down there to at least scope out the crowd for the days to come. October 19, Pianos NYC  

Jenny & Johnny  Your closest chance of getting with actual Jenny Lewis is getting with a Jenny Lewis fan. Seriously, they idolize that fiery redhead — so there will lots of girls in vintage rompers looking for a Johnny of their own. Besides, what's better than performance by a duo that's also a couple to inspire you with their sexual chemistry. October 19, Irving Plaza  

Phoenix, Dirty Projectors, Wavves  There will be upwards of 10,000 people there, so one of them will likely sleep with you, right? It's worth the trek north of fourteenth street. Just ask that cute girl standing next to you how a French dance band like Phoenix ended up getting so huge. Before you know it, you'll be making out. October 20, Madison Square Garden  

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The Blow, Screaming Females, Suuns, Young Man There's something for everyone here, or, hopefully, someone for everyone — twee kids in cardigans fawning over The Pains, Riot Grrls rocking out to the hyper-punk Screaming Females, and everyone dancing to The Blow's sexy electro-pop. With so many bands, the show's guaranteed to run late, at which point everyone will be so happy and exhausted you can practically pick who you'd like to go home with. October 21, Music Hall of Williamsburg 

Neon Indian, DOM, Wild Nothing  Here's one of the trippiest line-ups of the whole festival. Between the psych-rock of DOM and the electro-haze of Neon Indian, there's bound to be some illicit substances floating about to enhance the mood and lower your inhibitions. If you're still lacking courage, remember the sad, missed opportunities in Neon Indian's most famous song   — "Should Have Taken Acid With You." October 23, Bowery Ballroom