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Watch: Beyonce leads a velvet revolution in “Run the World (Girls)” video

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Listen up, minions: Beyonce would like to take a moment to remind you that come the post-apocalypse — which could be coming as early as this Sunday, as an old woman told me on the subway the other day! — she is going to rule your ass. She and her legion of Hammer-pants-wearing, booty-shaking female warriors. And you know what? I couldn't be happier, because not only is this video fun — not a revelation, mind you — but the song sounds so much better than the first time I heard it/posted about it. Maybe it's just because I've heard it several times now. Whatever, I don't care. Beyonce can be my Tina Turner. She can be my She Who Must Be Obeyed. She can be my Red Sonja.

My only tip: you might want to use, like, some weapons if you're going to beat that SWAT team, because sexy dancing is neither in and of itself super-effective nor empowering. But I do like the shout-out to girls who go to college:

Here is another thought: between the crazy shoes and the woman who looks like a crucified Stefani Germanotta at the start of the video, do you think Beyonce is declaring war on Lady Gaga? Do you think there can be only one, like in Highlander? Might it start with Lady Gaga decapitating Justin Timberlake this weekend on SNL? I'm just spit balling here, but it sounds like a great spectacle.