Listen up, minions: Beyonce would like to take a moment to remind you that come the post-apocalypse — which could be coming as early as this Sunday, as an old woman told me on the subway the other day! — she is going to rule your ass. She and her legion of Hammer-pants-wearing, booty-shaking female warriors. And you know what? I couldn't be happier, because not only is this video fun — not a revelation, mind you — but the song sounds so much better than the first time I heard it/posted about it. Maybe it's just because I've heard it several times now. Whatever, I don't care. Beyonce can be my Tina Turner. She can be my She Who Must Be Obeyed. She can be my Red Sonja.

My only tip: you might want to use, like, some weapons if you're going to beat that SWAT team, because sexy dancing is neither in and of itself super-effective nor empowering. But I do like the shout-out to girls who go to college:

Here is another thought: between the crazy shoes and the woman who looks like a crucified Stefani Germanotta at the start of the video, do you think Beyonce is declaring war on Lady Gaga? Do you think there can be only one, like in Highlander? Might it start with Lady Gaga decapitating Justin Timberlake this weekend on SNL? I'm just spit balling here, but it sounds like a great spectacle.

Commentarium (7 Comments)

May 19 11 - 9:14am

Does anyone else find it odd that the women claiming to run the world are doing so in garter belts and end up saluting the men in uniform when it's all said and done? What's being said here? I dunno, maybe I just don't get imagery.

Also, really can't take the whole song and video seriously since they used Pon de Floor as a backing beat. No fault of Beyonce's for trying, but once you've seen that video, you can't unsee it whenever that beat kicks in.

May 19 11 - 9:32am

I'll admit, the first thing I did after watching this video (...three times) was listen to "Pon de Floor." But I feel better knowing she and Diplo worked on this new album together, for some reason.

Also, Beyonce's stuff has always had a weird kind of feminism -- a sort of "I'm awesome, you better buy my dinner, but also I'm your devoted girlfriend and I'll do anything, but also I make more money than you." But I'll take that over, like, the Pussycat Dolls any day.

May 19 11 - 12:08pm

I like that kind of feminism. It's about celebrating being a woman and embracing the differences in genders instead of trying to pretend they don't exist. Also, common sense: guys will do whatever you want them to as long as they don't FEEL like they're being bossed around. Suggest something, let him think it's his idea and it'll get done. Say "I need you to do this by tomorrow" and you'll end up doing it yourself. I don't care how bad/annoying this sounds, I swear it's the truth.

May 19 11 - 7:27pm
Secret Character

@ JamesBradyRyan Spot on. LOVE...LOVE...LOVE...that kind of feminism.

May 23 11 - 3:13pm

Hate this kind of feminism. I mean "feminism."

May 25 11 - 10:28am

Yeah this isn't feminism, I thought that 'If I Was a Boy' song was kind of insightful but this kind of false empowerment just sucks. Also, the song is bad.

Aug 29 11 - 8:27am

I might be beating a dead horse, but thank you for ptosing this!