Okay, let's get one thing straight before you watch this: there is absolutely nothing good about Katy Perry's cover of Jay-Z and Kanye West "Ni**as in Paris" on BBC's Radio 1 Live Lounge and you should probably consider watching something else. Like, anything else. An ultrasound, perhaps. Or a twenty-minute YouTube video of an effeminate Belgian kid doing commentary on his favorite episode of Hangin' With Mr. Cooper. Or, maybe, that dusty old VHS tape of 1983's The Care Bears in the Land Without Feelings that you found in the back of your closet while you were cleaning, and you couldn't bring yourself to throw it out 'cause the nostalgia was too overpowering so you were just like, "Eh, I'll probably need this one day." Well, that day has come. And it is today. Here. I'll get you started:

In case you did not grow up in my apartment in the early '90s, that was Care Bears villain Professor Coldheart's rap, "I'm Professor Coldheart," from The Care Bears in the Land Without Feelings. As you can probably discern from the fact that it's from a 1980s Care Bears video, it is very white and lame. I leave it here with you, gentle reader, as a basis for comparison, so you yourself can determine whether it is more/less white and/or lame than the aforementioned Katy Perry cover. Influencing your opinion either way would be journalistically irresponsible, so I'll let you give it a ponder, but I'll leave you with one final thought. At the end of the video, Katy Perry does the following pose:

That is all. 

Commentarium (5 Comments)

Mar 20 12 - 12:12am
C.M.

There is no god.

Mar 20 12 - 4:50am
Do I have to?

... Cause I reeeeeallllly don't want to.

Mar 20 12 - 9:32am
Thomas

So sad...

Mar 21 12 - 11:34am
Getsomenerve

So you guys are totally cool with Kathy using the "n" word ? And if you are why don't you spell out the "n " word ? Because you're not Republicans ?

Jul 17 12 - 2:58pm
Anonamoose

I'll take Care Bears over Katy Perry any time, thankyouverymuch