Watch: Lady Gaga’s new video is unexpectedly boring

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Lady Gaga's new video premiered last night and, I have to say, the result is a little confusing. Gone are the bizarre erotic encounters ending in "artistic" violence. Gone are the myriad back-up dancers with their wacky hair. Gone, perhaps most sadly, are Gaga's endless costume changes. Instead what we get is a video of the pop star — dressed in a studded black-leather ensemble — dancing alone on a fire escape.

She also cavorts through the streets and swings around a lamp post, Singing in the Rain style. It's much like a video of someone dancing like an idiot alone in their apartment… if that person had millions of dollars and had rented the "Upper West Side" version of a New York City set. The video's definitely understated, which places more emphasis on the song itself. But it's not the songs that make Lady Gaga appealing; it's the pageantry. So without the aerial shots, latex, and overt Biblical allusions, you're left with a crazy-looking person humping the sidewalk. I could walk outside my apartment and see that.