Watch: The new hardcore gangster rap from Tom Hanks’ son, Chester

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Chet Haze

I don't know if you knew, but Tom Hanks' son, Chet, is a gangster. Disregard the fact that his dad is Tom Hanks, the fact that he is currently enrolled at Northwestern, and the fact that his name is Chester. He is hard. (Check his bling, yo.) The young Hanks boy, known as Chet Haze by his homies, raps about guns and money among other things in his "2010 Freestyle." My favorite lines are at the very beginning: 

I'll stab with a ski pole
in the peep hole
Ay, Creepo, 
I'm sharp like the space needle

I've never heard Creepo said so thuggishly. Chet's new mixtape, Get Hazed, drops on Valentine's Day. Look out for more tales about him and his "crew" doing what thugs do. This just makes me wonder: if Papa Hanks knew Forrest Gump and Cast Away would be paying for gangsta-rap studio time, would he have done them?