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Woman claims she took Justin Bieber’s virginity, he got her pregnant

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Baby-faced robot Justin Bieber maybe has a love child? A woman named Mariah Yeater reports that a security guard picked her out of the crowd at a Bieber show in Los Angeles last October and led her backstage because the singer wanted to meet her. Bieber then took to her a sort of romantic love nest he had prepared for her — just kidding, he took her into the bathroom. She claims that, once they were alone, his demeanor completely changed:

"We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to."

Can you even imagine this happening? Seriously, can you imagine Justin Bieber telling some girl he wants to "fuck the shit out of her"? It's too amazing to be true. Also, he purportedly didn't want to use a condom because it was his first time and he "wanted to feel everything." Yeater reports that Bieber lasted a disappointing thirty seconds. 

Yeater gave birth to a child nine months after the encounter and wants to compel Bieber to take a paternity test. Perhaps behind that swoopy, swoony adolescent affect there exists the soul of a thirty-year-old, groupie-banging celebrity. The court hearing is set for December fifteenth.