If the American public were polled as to who the least sexy dead world leader is (because, you know, that's the best way to spend taxpayer dollars), Muammar Gaddafi would probably lead the pack, with Leonid Brezhnev coming in a close second. Yet despite our profound disinterest in hearing about the sexual peccadilloes of the former Libyan dictator, the media persists in regaling us with stories of Gaddafi's sexy time. The latest is a Daily Mail interview with former Gaddafi manservant/chef Faisal, who claims that women who slept with Gaddafi would occasionally go "immediately from [Gaddafi's] bedroom to the hospital" to be treated for internal injuries.
Although it's not really okay to joke about people getting injured from rough sex — particularly if the sex in question was with an evil totalitarian dictator who funded terrorist organizations and tortured political dissidents — the other details in the article sound like they're straight out of a friars' roast for Hugh Hefner. Gaddafi was reportedly addicted to Viagra, to the point where his nurse would urge him to lay back on the juice; he also allegedly tried to purchase a penis-lengthening machine from Paris, prowled the Tripoli University campus for young, nubile partners, and had a bizarre obsession with Condoleezza Rice, who was featured in a scrapbook album found at his compound.
This isn't the kind of stuff you can pull out of thin air, people. This isn't like Hitler's alleged predilection for coprophilia (which has never been confirmed by historians), or Brezhnev pioneering "Superman-ing that ho" (which also hasn't been confirmed, because I just made up). This is 100 percent pure, unadulterated, unpasteurized fucknuts narcissism and megalomania and craziness, and may I just say, thank the blessed Lord for the Daily Mail and its affiliates for putting it on the record, even if we don't really want to know about it, like… at all.