Sadly, Newt Gingrich’s plan for an American moon colony is probably illegal

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Moon Colony

Can you imagine playing "two truths and a lie" with Newt Gingrich? Like, imagine you didn't know him, and he said, "I once proposed an American space colony at a presidential debate on CNN; I had a turkey sandwich for lunch; and my hair is real." Who would ever guess turkey sandwich was the lie? No one!. (And yes, I have it from reliable sources that, though he may be a grandiose wingnut, Newton was graced with the hair genes of a majestic lion.) Because it is certainly and undeniably true that on Wednesday evening, Newt Gingrich stood on a nationally televised stage and defended his plan to build a permanent space colony on the moon, declare it "American," and send 13,000 of our countrymen up there so he can name it the fifty-first state and be president of the moon.

Sadly, however, we've learned that (other than the plan's obvious cost- and feasibility- and WTF?- and have-we-even-figured-out-how-to-do-that-yet-related issues), it's against the law. There's a treaty called the United Nations' Treaties and Principles on Outer Space which pretty clearly states that the moon doesn't belong to any one country.

But there's no mention in the treaty (I'm guessing; actual U.N. documents fall into the TL;DR category for me) of putting mirrors on the moon that you can use to selectively shine light onto the bad parts of cities, you know, to fight crime — which Gingrich has also proposed. So there's always that to hope for.