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Breaking: Rick Santorum said something stupid

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You guys, I know we're all scared about leaving 2011 behind for 2012 and prepping for the Apocalypse (TM) Starring Lloyd Dobler and all that. But I swear, this year is totally not gonna be all that different! You see, it's almost 24 hours into January 1st, and the sun is still rising and the stars are still shining in the sky and HuffPo is still running approximately 10.5 stories about Kim Kardashian's beach body and former senator/GOP candidate Rick Santorum is still saying unbelievably stupid and offensive shit: except this time, he's saying that President Obama should be pro-life because he's African-American. Welcome to the New Year, y'all!

Recently, an interview with CNS from January 2011 surfaced on BuzzFeed in which Santorum, who is currently surging in the Iowa polls, implied that Obama should be anti-choice because of his race, questioning the president's position by stating that the issue of personhood shouldn't even be up for debate. During the interview, Santorum, who is a proponent of a constitutional ban on abortion, stated the following:

"The question is…is that human life a person under the constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well, if that human life is not a person then…I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'Now, we are going to decide who are people and who are not people.'"

To which, I would of course respond with a big fat LOLcat-style: ORLY, Rik? Bcuz not only does that statement not make any sense to a human being whose veins are not teeming with Hate Juice, but I find it almost remarkable for a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter to decide who counts as a person under constitutional law, and who doesn't count as a person. Last I checked, what comes out of your butt after a hot and sweaty bout of anal penetrative intercourse does not have any constitutional rights, and should therefore not go on television with his lavendar shirt and spray-on hair, declaring to other people what they should be doing with their own bodies. In short, I iz not amused.