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Britain moves to change succession laws, get more girls on the throne

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David Cameron is lucky Henry VIII is long dead, because the fat man would kick his ass for this move. The British prime minister is looking to change a centuries-old rule and allow first-born royal daughters to inherit the crown.

In his letter to the prime ministers of Commonwealth countries, Cameron called the law "an anomaly" that goes against gender equality. He wrote:

"In the UK, we have found it increasingly difficult to continue to justify two particular aspects of the present rules on the succession to the Crown. The first is the rule which says that an elder daughter should take a place in the line of succession behind a younger son. We espouse gender equality in all other aspects of life, and it is an anomaly that in the rules relating to the highest public office we continue to enshrine male superiority."

Crazy Cameron also has off-the-wall ideas of allowing royals who marry Catholics to ascend the throne and ending the permission to marry rules. He'll plead his case in a meeting with the Commonwealth leaders and the queen later this month. The reforms are expected to be approved.

Unconfirmed reports say that Cameron drafted the plan after sighing dejectedly, for the fifth time that day, at a portrait of Prince Charles, muttering, "Why didn't Anne come first? Oh wait … "