Canada hopes to pacify drunks with the help of lollipops

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A city councillor in Victoria, British Columbia named Charlayne Thornton-Joee wants to tame boisterous drunks who spill out of bars by using a simple, but effective method: handing out lollipops. Since most drunks are like little scatterbrained, egotistical babies who need something stuck in their mouths to distract them, it makes sense.

Ms. Thornton-Joe did her homework on strategies for quelling unruly tipplers, researching how other countries dealt with the problem, learning that they do the lollipop thing with hooligans in England, Wales and Scotland. She also read a book that lowers the bar on punning called Raising The Bar: Preventing Aggression In and Around Bars, Pubs and Clubs. It turns out the lollies are effective in mitigating post-tavern static due to the shitfaced being less inclined to yell while sucking on a lolly, and the calming effect of the sugar hit.

Ms. Thornton-Joe will be consulting with her city staff to see if they can make a regular go of this. The Victoria Police Department is leaning against it, citing already-overloaded belts, preferring that bars and nightclubs dispense the sweets. Potential food-allergy issues were also brought up by a police spokesman. The likelihood of lollipop-stick shanking, however, was not mentioned.