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You know that girl who you used to be friends with in middle school who dumped you after she got boobs and a nose job and a Brazilian blowout midway through freshman year, and then spent the rest of high school telling everyone you were a total lesbian because of that one time you practiced French-kissing on each other's arms (which, by the way, was totally her idea and you weren't even into it at all and no, you don't still hold a grudge, why do you ask?) Well, that girl is all grown up now, and she hasn't changed much: her nose is still straight, her hair is still shiny, and she still thinks that calling people gay is funny, except now she's working as a political and foreign affairs analyst for Fox News.
In response to news that Georgetown law student/employer-covered contraception advocate Sandra Fluke had just gotten engaged, conservative pundit Monica Crowley tweeted, "To a man?" (So you know, Monica, Fluke is engaged to her longtime boyfriend Adam Mutterperl, a Los Angeles-based comedy writer and producer. So she'll probably have more lolz in her life than you could ever have hoped to inspire with your attempt at cutting political humor.)
Not surprisingly, Crowley's tweet spawned a fair amount of criticism on Twitter; replies ran the gamut from "you're a terrible person, just FYI" to my personal favorite, "that wouldn't even pass for wit on Fox." In true mean-girl fashion, Crowley responded to her detractors by tweeting, "I love exposing the Left's total lack of a sense of humor," which is essentially right-wing pundit Internet speak for, "ROTFL u guyz r just jellis btchz y cnt u tk a joke?!?! JELENA 4L :-)."
Later, Crowley reversed her position that all of her critics were humorless, latte-drinking, abortion-loving liberal sticks in the mud with her response to one person's claims that she had "insinuated" that Fluke was gay: "Insinuating nothing," Crowley tweeted. "Straightforward question. No answer yet." Here's your answer, Monz: take your shiny hair and your adolescent sense of humor and go crawl back into that musty girls' locker room from whence you came. There'll be plenty of "lesbians" for you to pick on there.