Herman Cain endorses Newt Gingrich

Good news for those of you who've been sitting atop a pile of unused Herman Cain jokes since he dropped out of the race last November: the former GOP contender/Godafther's Pizza CEO/United Kingdom emergency-telephone-number aficionado is momentarily back in the news today, after announcing his endorsement of Newt Gingrich in Florida Saturday night.

The former candidate officially declared his support for Gingrich in West Palm Beach last night, three days before the primary. "I had it in my heart and mind a long time," Cain said while appearing at a Republican fundraiser with Gingrich. "Speaker Gingrich is a patriot. Speaker Gingrich is not afraid of bold ideas." Cain then went on to say that Speaker Gingrich "smells like apricots" and "makes the cutest little wrinkly face while he's sleeping," leaning in close to the former House Speaker and inhaling sharply before he was politely steered away by Gingrich's aides. 

After Gingrich's victory in the South Carolina primary, the former House Speaker has so far failed to achieve the same success in Florida, and the most recent state poll indicates Gingrich is trailing behind Mitt Romney by fifteen points. While the candidate is badly in need of support, some speculate that an endorsement from Cain — who famously withdrew from the election due to allegations of sexual misconduct and infidelity — could end up doing more harm than good for the thrice-married Gingrich, an admitted adulterer who recently came under fire for reports that he'd asked his ex-wife for an open marriage.

Either way, though, isn't it great to have Herman Cain back in the spotlight again? The election coverage really hasn't been the same since he bowed out. Someone please give this man his own hour-long variety special or a spot on Dancing With The Stars, stat. Just keep him away from any political office or gentlemen's club or pizza oven, because let's be honest, the man was about as good at making pizza as he was at pretending that he'd never heard the Pokemon song before. 

Commentarium (4 Comments)

Jan 29 12 - 8:48pm
Minnow

This just in, Crazy endorses Creepy!

Jan 29 12 - 9:02pm
Woody

So a sham endorses a mockery. What a travesty.

Jan 29 12 - 10:28pm
profrobert

Well, clearly Newt has locked up the adulterous millionaire vote. How could squares like Romney, Santorum and Paul hope to succeed with that demographic if they consistenly refuse to screw around on their wives?

Jan 30 12 - 1:29am
Fawkes

Oh come on Herman! Why you gotta sandbag my man like that?