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Master hacker Newt Gingrich threatens cyberwar on Russia and China

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Fed up with Russia and China's online spying, Newt Gingrich has threatened to wage cyberwar. Maybe he took a few HTML courses, or maybe he just saw The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo — either way, he has the online bloodlust. 

Driven by the panic of America's online intelligence being illegally tapped, Gingrich stated:

…there are games we're not going to tolerate being played. And we either need an armed truce or we're going to engage as aggressively as you are. 

Believe it or not, this is not the first cyber-Jihad Newt has called for: he personally threatened to wage e-war against Iran after the famous Stuxnet malware wreaked havoc on the Iranian nuclear program. I'm not calling Gingrich incompetent, but I feel like he's not the hacker he makes himself out to be.

As if Newt is totally unaware that this talk is making himself public enemy number one for the Anonymous army, he went on to say that "No one from WikiLeaks should feel comfortable the rest of their lives." What do you have that's so important on your computer, Newt? If I see so much as one horse dick…

American policymakers are reluctant to wage any sort of "online battle", realizing that inciting any sort of aggression could cause other countries to retaliate. No one's Gmail is safe. Gingrich needs to calm down on his loud empty threats  I doubt a "cyber Pearl Harbor" is going to happen. But if it does, someone call Ben Affleck, because there must be a movie in it.