Say what you will about Michele Bachmann, but the lady takes initiative. Some presidential candidates might vow to alter real healthcare systems, or create actual new jobs. Not this one. She thinks big. Case in point: her vow that she would not allow a completely imaginary U.S. embassy in Iran to exist.
The U.S. hasn't had an embassy in Iran since it cut all diplomatic ties with the nation in 1980, following the Iranian Hostage Crisis. But Bachmann's apparently just too busy hating on the DADT repeal, attacking abortion activists, and pissing off Tom Petty to memorize tidbits like that. Britain recently shut down its own embassy in Tehran, so Bachmann capitalized on the moment, telling a crowd in Waverly, Iowa:
"That's exactly what I would do [if I were president]. We wouldn't have an embassy in Iran. I wouldn't allow that to be there."
Now, this sound bite would appear to break Bachmann's gaffe-free record, but her team is insisting that she was just being hypothetical. In a statement, the Bachmann campaign said:
"Congresswoman Bachmann is a member of the House Select Committee on Intelligence and is fully aware that we do not have an embassy in Iran have not had one since 1980. She was agreeing with the actions taken by the British to secure their embassy personnel and was speaking in the hypothetical, that if she was President of the United States and if we had an embassy in Iran, she would have taken the same actions as the British."
Well this sounds like a fun new game for candidates to play on the campaign trail! Kinda like Mad Libs meets Model UN. Sample: If insert natural catastrophe hit the U.S., I would issue insert noun to insert proper noun. Wait, I've got a better one. If insert highly improbable presidential candidate were ever miraculously elected, I would insert verb before drinking insert liquor heavily and crying insert adjective in the streets.