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NYC Dept. of Ed. bans "dinosaurs," "swimming pools," and more from standardized tests
By Sean MorrowMarch 27th, 2012, 2:30 pmComments (7)
In the eternal war between "political correctness" and "religious and social conservatism" over who can be sillier with their use of censorship, the more liberal combatant has unveiled a weapon of mass absurdity. The New York City Department of Education has released its list of words and topics banned from standardized tests, specifically words that "could evoke unpleasant emotions in the students." And it's a doozy.
Let's take a look. "Bodily functions" is on there. Hmm. I understand that maybe fourth graders shouldn't have to do math problems involving calculating boners and farts, but what about other bodily functions? You know, like eating, cognition, and growing? Also, high-school-level math students are totally mature enough to calculate boners and farts. That's the Pythagorean theorem, right?
Also making the list are "poverty," "loss of employment," and really any discussion of money or class, which makes sense, because it's imperative that children are kept unaware that any other economic classes exist. Likewise, children mustn't know that there are people with other beliefs; "religion," "Halloween," and "birthdays" are also banned.
"Disease and death," and "dinosaurs" are also on the list, likely because they don't want to upset anyone who has lost a loved one to disease, or death, or pterodactyls. (RIP Uncle Pete. Never forget.) The possibly-closer-to-the-truth reasoning is that dinosaurs are banned because they "suggest evolution, which creationists might not like."
How about this: if you can't handle hearing the word "disease," maybe you're not mature enough to be in school. The same is true if you have some kind of philosophical conundrum with dinosaurs. Unless, of course, it's the Cartesian question of "If your arms are too short to touch your genitals, why bother living at all?"
Other banned words include:
- Parapsychology
- Terrorism
- Vermin
- Junk food
- Homes with swimming pools
Tags
censorship
education
Commentarium (7 Comments)
Banned word haiku:
Bodily functions,
dinosaur pornography:
computers at home.
Oh, Nerve, don't be obscurantist. That's the role of Fox News. There's a science to testing, and plenty of evidence that disturbing content gets in the way of good measurement. You can argue that real life is full of disturbing things; does that mean we should test people in noisy testing centers with flashing lights? No, you minimize distractions so as to give each student the best chance to demonstrate his or her knowledge or skills.
In a history test, you can ask about war. In a paleontology test, ask about dinosaurs. But in a math test, when you can ask about apples or pizzas, why ask a question like, "If the Air Force returns 23 body bags on Day 1 and 24 body bags on Day 2, how many body bags will it have returned over the two days?"
47?
Well technically you can't ask about apples or pizzas in a math test under these new rules... "junk food" is banned (which includes pizza, unless we're going by the new nutrition standards that regard pizza sauce as a 'vegetable'). Apples can also be technically banned, since bobbing for apples is a tradition of sorts on Halloween, and let's not forget that Snow White was nearly killed by a poisoned apple (and of course, parents might freak out if little Johnny makes the connection between the two), or worse, that Eve basically condemned all of humanity to suffer because she took a bite from the forbidden fruit (can't have little Johnny making that connection either, you know).
That logic about apples was absurd and I hope you realize that. "Halloween" and "birthdays" are both banned most likely out of consideration for Jehovah's Witnesses. Honestly, these all seem fine to me. Why shouldn't this kind of thing be "better safe than sorry"? These things are all irrelevant to the subject matter of the test and could easily distract a student or cloud their mind. It's in the best interests of everyone to make a good faith effort to avoid that.
And if you think "poverty" or "loss of employment" are banned for the sake of the rich, you're absolutely nuts. There have been studies demonstrating that even having a black student bubble in as black before a test worsens their performance. It's not hard to imagine that "poverty" could have a similar effect on poor students or students whose parents were recently fired.
No Halloween? Looks like the North American Hallowe'en Prevention Initiative strikes again.