Play anti-woman legislation Mad Libs

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Well, now that Congress has voted to defund Planned Parenthood, the fine folks at Jezebel decided to help push along more anti-female legislation — in the form of handy Mad Libs no less. Now we can all play along at home and create our own congressional speeches decrying our own reproductive rights / gynecological health/other issue of little importance to white, privileged, and conservative men. So print out the card below and fill in the blanks as directed — it's not like we can think for ourselves anyway.