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Rick Santorum denies that he’s totally obsessed with Lindsay Lohan

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It would be a love story for the ages: two of America's biggest train wrecks — former presidential hopeful/sweater vest aficionado Rick Santorum, and former Golden Globe hopeful/post-nasal coke drip aficionado Lindsay Lohan — meet at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, pose for a photo together, fall in love, and go on to have adorable train-wreck babies who hate the gays and are really, really good at avoiding jail time.

This would be a great meet-cute, except Santorum insists it totally didn't happen. While addressing TMZ reports that he attempted to pose for a photo with Lohan, a bashful Santorum denied that he ever approached Lohan at last Saturday's dinner. (He then denied having seen Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen forty-seven times, although he did admit to knowing all the lyrics to "Be a Star" from the 2000 Lohan/Tyra Banks vehicle Life Size. Yes, Lindsay Lohan and Tyra Banks appeared in the same movie together; Tyra played a Barbie doll that magically came to life, and Lindsay played her owner. Yes.)

TMZ reports that Lohan was sitting next to Greta Van Susteren at the dinner when Santorum approached the table and was all, "Um, heyyy." And then Greta and Lindsay were all "…oh …hey," and they stared at each other for a while while Greta kicked Lindsay under the table and mouthed, "Omigod what a loser." JK! That would be silly. What actually happened, according to TMZ, is that Santorum asked Lohan to take a picture of him with Van Susteren, and then asked Lohan if he could take a picture of her alone. She obliged, and Santorum totally non-creepily sauntered away. 

When TMZ approached Santorum to ask if he took a picture with Lohan, a visibly flustered Santorum blushed, shook his head, and said, "I took a picture with a lot of people today… I think I took a photo of my kids." His obvious embarrassment at being outed as a secret tabloid reader would be kind of adorable if Santorum weren't, you know, totally awful. Just own up to it, dude! Who among us wouldn't take a photo of Lindsay Lohan if we saw her just chillin' at the White House Correspondents Dinner with Greta Van Susteren? Even if it was just to be able to say to your friends, "Oh, hey, that one time at the White House Correspondents Dinner I totally saw Lindsay Lohan with Greta Van Susteren," and when your friends were all, "No way, dude, pictures or it didn't happen," you could casually produce photographic evidence of said encounter and make all of your friends feel like idiots for a few minutes.

In other news, since I started writing this post, I have watched Tyra Banks sing "Be a Star" in Life Size twice, and I have come to the conclusion that it is perhaps the most awkwardly compelling three-and-a-half minutes in movie musical history. Happy Monday, Nerve readers. This is my gift to you.