News

Rick Santorum tells sick kid to stop buying so many iPads if he really wants to get better

Pin it

For potential nominees, the election cycle is one giant minefield. While opposing candidates are constantly shelling them with smear campaigns implying that they tend to wake up in the middle of the night with a craving for delicious baby meat and/or communism, they must also be wary of skilled reporters and citizen journalists aiming their cameras and pens, hoping to catch the candidate in a moment of weakness or a slip of the tongue.

As such, every rally — even those predominantly made up of supporters — has to be navigated with extreme care and attention. Occasionally, you'll get "glitter-bombed" by a gay-rights activist like Mitt Romney did yesterday, and you'll have to just grit your teeth and plow through it. Other times, though, you'll be caught by an even more monstrous and destructive force: a sick child and his mother. Which is what Rick Santorum found himself against yesterday. And, let's just say, he didn't get out of the jam quite as deftly as ol' Mittens.

When the mother started arguing with Santorum that drug companies should be regulated and not allowed to just make as much money as they can on the sick, Rick responded:

“People have no problem paying $900 for an iPad,” Santorum said, “but paying $900 for a drug they have a problem with — it keeps you alive. Why? Because you’ve been conditioned to think health care is something you can get without having to pay for it.”

First of all, an iPad costs about $450, so the price he's actually stating is for two iPads. But that's not the point. Rick's trying to break it down to the common folk! And you, sick kid! What are you doing buying an iPad when you could get healthy instead? What's more important, being able to surf the web with a few swipes of your finger? Or living?

The mother said the boy was on the drug Abilify, used to treat schizophrenia, and that, on paper, its costs would exceed $1 million each year.

Oh. Well.

Let's do the math here. Using Santorum's over-the-top estimation of how much an iPad costs — because maybe he buys them from a hard-working American mom-and-pop store who have to up-charge in order to stay in business while overseas corporations move into Main Street, USA — that's still roughly 1,111 iPads the kid has to buy for this excuse to be valid. Just what does he need that many iPads for? Is he an Al Qaeda?

Rick Santorum, ladies and gentlemen. Have fun with him while you still can!