News

Rick Santorum visits sweater-vest factory, cements campaign as joke

Pin it

Santorum ogles sweater vests

One imagines a writer for The Onion seeing this story and thinking "Damn! Real life stole my idea again!" as he takes another shot and crosses "Rick Santorum Makes Campaign Stop at Sweater-Vest Factory" off his list of article ideas. This must have been tough after he spent all that time on "Newt Gingrich Promises to Colonize Moon.

Unfortunately for Mr. Hypothetical Onion Writer, Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum did in fact tour a sweater-vest factory in Bemidji, Minnesota on Sunday. Santorum has become well-known for his proclivity toward the garment since "had a speech to give at a Mike Huckabee event which should have required a suit and tie, and [I] walked out there dressed like this." The factory he visited, Bemidji Woolen Mills, manufactures the sweater vests which Santorum emblazons with his name and sells for $100 on his campaign website. The campaign has sold over 1300 of the sleeveless wonders to Santorum supporters and perhaps a few reluctant Gingrich fans who just really wanted sweater vests.

The story isn't as ripe for snarky jokes as it may seem; Santorum is in on the gag, and is very aware of the "complete fashion faux pas," the sweater vest presents. His website has the brilliant one-liner, "don't let sleeves slow you down — donate today!" The parody Twitter from the perspective of the sweater vest, @FearRicksVest, is also decidedly and non-sarcastically pro-Santorum. 

Hey, Rick, while you're into the whole making jokes at your own expense thing, how about including the the definition of Santorum, somewhere on your campaign website? (That be a "frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex," just in case you'd forgotten.)