America's pharmacies are notoriously paradoxical. You’ll find beer — the thing that might lead you to forget to use a condom — across from condoms, dental-care products across from Sour Patch Kids, and cigarettes across from painkillers that might help ease your way through pre-hospice lung cancer. So you’d think that in a store that sells both good health and bad/stupid health, you’d be able to find the good cure to your bad/stupid sex life. Now, in Washington state, you’d be wrong.

U.S. District Judge Ronald Leighton ruled that pharmacies in Washington State are not required to carry Plan B, after two pharmacies complained that the requirement was an attack on their constitutional right to freedom of religion. (I, personally, never feel like a Good Christian unless I'm withholding medication from someone in need.) Leighton ruled that there are various existing exceptions for pharmacies: if, for example, carrying a medication increases the risk of theft, or if it involves excessive paperwork, a pharmacy is not required to carry that medication. Leighton further stated that, as yet, there are no existing exceptions for "reasons of conscience."

So, to recap, in Washington State pharmacies, you can purchase nit-picks — actual combs made for the sole purpose of weeding out crab lice (a sure necessity for America’s biggest sinners, adulterers, and vintage-clothing fanatics) — not to mention assorted shampoos for the same purpose, not to mention creams to flatten your genital warts, not to mention Viagra, so you can go around spearing whomever you please with ungodly longevity. But you may have to border-hop to Oregon to purchase Plan B.

Commentarium (6 Comments)

Feb 26 12 - 12:42pm
just mike

here's to waiting for the false advertising lawsuit when someone tries to find a legal product not available in that particular store. "I thought it was a pharmacy, but they don't stock items one expects at a pharmacy!"

Feb 26 12 - 6:03pm
Yes, exactly...

The lawsuit would say, "We expected to be able to induce an abortion! What kind of pharmacy won't let me kill my child?"

Feb 26 12 - 11:27pm
@yes, exactly

Clearly you are clueless as to what Plan B actually is. Educate yourself, maybe.

Feb 26 12 - 11:27pm
in the wash

This is a load of bullshit. The rest of the country is trying to change Washington State into something it is not. Our state is one the most forward thinking and sensible states in the union, and yet it is time and time again dragged down by pointless ideals and agendas. Who cares who you love and what you choose to do. This is an item that should not be available on a store to store basis. This is not 1920 for fucks sake.

Feb 27 12 - 2:19pm
Banacek

Just like Steve should be free to marry Adam. Adam Walgreen should be free to not sell whatever it is he wants.

Feb 27 12 - 10:39pm
That Gal

Banacek - That's not an equal comparison - catchy as it may be. Steve & Adam choose to marry each other and their choice does not directly affect my life. Adam Walgreen chooses to be a pharmacist but his choice may directly affect my life. Adam Walgreen offers a public service, and if he's not comfortable doing that, I would suggest he try a new profession.