Will Joe the Plumber replace Dennis Kucinich?

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Look on the bright side, Dennis Kucinich: at least you can spend more time with your beautiful wife. (Or chasing UFOs?) The antiwar congressman lost the Democratic primary for Ohio's 9th District, a casualty of redistricting in the wake of lower census numbers. But don't lose hope, late-night TV comedians: Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher won on the Republican side. The House's most liberal vote might become its most conservative.

That said, Wurzelbacher only won by three percentage points, despite spending $60,000 to his opponent's $10,000. (And despite being famous, thanks to John McCain.) The district is a stronghold for Democrats, so the Tea Party firebrand could be a tough sell for many local voters.

Wurzelbacher will face Rep. Marcy Kaptur, a fifteen-term congresswoman. She and Kucinich were allies until the merging of their districts pitted them against each other. "I hope this is not a representation of how she'll run the district," the ousted Kucinich said of Kaptur's negative campaign.

Kucinich hasn't yet announced his future plans, but is nevertheless destined to destroy the One Ring in the fires of Mordor.