You will still have Rick Perry to kick around for a bit

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The Iowa Caucuses are generally considered the first true hurdle in the run up to the election. It's there that the pretenders are culled from the contenders, where weak and ridiculous candidates have their cracks exposed and are quickly taken by security and ushered out of the party. Everyone predicted the day after would be a political bloodbath, with at least one campaign counting their heavy losses and deciding to drop out. The only question, then, was who would it be?

First on that list was crazy-eyed Michelle Bachmann (last night's last-place-not-named-Herman-Cain-or-Jon-Huntsman-finisher with a mere 5% of the vote), who went up to the podium today, stood next to her extremely heterosexual husband, and announced she was taking her "choot-spa" back to Minnesota. With the seal of drop-outs broken, the eyes of politico-watchers fell on the next lowest vote-getter: Rick Perry, who mustered up 10% of the vote last night.

Perry, meanwhile, announced he was heading back to Texas for a night of hardcore soul searching and presumed hair combing. "Would he drop out, too?" wondered comedy writers across the country. "Is it possible we can lose two of our greatest material sources on the same day?" Well fear not, white men in their 20s and 30s with bad complexions and carpal tunnel: Perry announced on Twitter he's still in the face:

And the next leg of the marathon is the Palmetto State…Here we come South Carolina!!!

And then he uploaded this ridiculous photo:

Which, you know, thank goodness. It was going to get annoying having only Rick Santorum around to take the brunt of the liberal hate. At least now it can be somewhat divided between the two Ricks. Until, of course, Perry inevitably loses terribly in New Hampshire and drops out of the race once and for all. Make this week count, everyone!