You'll never guess how Fox News covered Obama's birthday

Unless you thought, "with out-of-left-field accusations and unfortunate racial coding that should be really, really embarrassing for whoever was involved." Because if you thought that, you are very correct. The article itself — which was culled from a larger account of the President's birthday celebration on Politico — is pretty much a quick rundown of the schedule, menu, and guest list of the early evening celebration for Obama's fiftieth birthday. Naturally, such an event calls for this:

Ha. Haha! Hahahaha... Heh. Whew. Oh boy. First of all, I know you're wondering what made this a "hip-hop BBQ." Was it because Jay-Z performed? No! Was it because any other hip-hop artists performed? Also no! Was it because there were quite a few black people in attendance and Fox News knows that saying "hip-hop" anything inflames their audience? Well, yes, it was probably that one. But the site would probably claim it's because the DJ on hand played a mix of "Motown, hip hop, and ’70s and ’80s R&B." So it was about as hip-hop as my middle-school friend David Cohen's bar mitzvah.

(For the record, Stevie Wonder, Ledisi, and Herbie Hancock performed. And Obama even invited some white people, like Tom Hanks and Rep. Nancy Pelosi!)

And while it truly pains me to even have to address this: this BBQ probably did not, uh, "create jobs." (Though maybe it did! A big menu generally calls for a decent amount of cater waiters.) Because it's a birthday party and not, um... a government program or a piece of legislation or anything that has to do with economic recovery and ow, my brain is bleeding. This BBQ also did not cure cancer. So you heard it hear first, everyone: Obama doesn't care if you die from cancer.

Commentarium (43 Comments)

Aug 05 11 - 2:42pm
Why?

Wow, Fox really is racist.

Aug 05 11 - 3:02pm
Why?

Wow, Obama is really racist. Why no white performers?

He invited Tom Hanks and Nancy Pelosi? Some of his best friends are white!

Aug 05 11 - 4:55pm
anon

Please don't rub it in that Tom Hanks is white. Some of us keep trying to forget that.

Aug 05 11 - 9:42pm
@anon

That's a very racist statement, anon. Please be more considerate in the future.

Aug 05 11 - 3:09pm
Cartoonish

Third comment down on their website "WOW, WHAT A GREAT CROWD!
I'D LIKE TO HAVE SEEN THE RUSH FOR THE SILVERWARE WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT............."

Aug 05 11 - 9:43pm
Inventory

Wow. The same comment was made on this site. What an amazingly racist site nerve must be.

Aug 06 11 - 12:51am
Inventory

Wow, I don't think people know how to read time stamps on comments.

Aug 05 11 - 3:26pm
julian.

"This BBQ also did not cure cancer. So you heard it hear first, everyone: Obama doesn't care if you die from cancer."

^perfect sarcasm

Aug 05 11 - 3:29pm
Kel

Murdoch's poison can't kill off Fox News soon enough...

Aug 05 11 - 3:33pm
mj

Aaaamen!

Aug 05 11 - 3:30pm
MRAGH

The Fox article is stupid, but there's nothing racist about it.

Aug 05 11 - 6:05pm
duh

yeah, it was, for reasons already explained.

Aug 05 11 - 9:41pm
@duh

No, it's not. Sorry. The racism is the President's for not having a representative group of Asian and Caucasian performers. He is a racist, pure and simple.

Aug 06 11 - 12:45am
@

To the person who always answers with "@": You don't have to keep trying to prove to everyone on Nerve that you are a moronic troll.

Aug 06 11 - 7:34am
...

Didn't you just answer with a "@"?

Aug 06 11 - 3:01pm
@

Said person always answers with the username "@" and then the name of whomever is being trolled.

Aug 05 11 - 8:27pm
FFDOM

Fox News is stupid, and that headline is stupid.....BUT......how is this any different from what Nerve does with their headlines? The first principle taught in every marketing and media 101 class in America is "Know your audience/customer." Fox News knows that their audience are a bunch of upper-middle class racist, homophobic, white people and plays to that. Conversely, doesn't NERVE do the same thing?

To Fox News, Santorum is a serious candidate. To NERVE readers, it makes you dry heave.

Aug 05 11 - 9:08pm
julian.

Fox News is also trying to be a journalism institution based on objective news which it fails horribly at. Nerve is an opinion website.

Aug 05 11 - 8:40pm
MS

In other news: Speaker Boehner's morning shit fails to fix immigration.

Aug 05 11 - 9:24pm
Vinegar Bend

FOX is racist. We already knew that.
Okay, what's next?

Aug 05 11 - 9:40pm
Publius

Next: The White House claims that our credit being down-rated is a racist act.

Aug 06 11 - 12:49am
Publius

Next: I'll try as hard as I can to make false equivalencies.

Aug 06 11 - 7:35am
...

But first you need to stop using big words you don't understand!

Aug 06 11 - 3:02pm
...

But first I must realize that it's really just me who doesn't understand big words.

Aug 07 11 - 7:12pm
...

Add lame retorts to the list that already has not understanding big words.

Aug 07 11 - 10:08pm
julian.

lul

Aug 07 11 - 10:51pm
...

I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000.

Aug 05 11 - 9:43pm
Inventory

WOW, WHAT A GREAT CROWD!
I'D LIKE TO HAVE SEEN THE RUSH FOR THE SILVERWARE WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT.............

Aug 06 11 - 7:35am
...

Wow, nerve is an amazingly racist web site for due to this comment.

Aug 06 11 - 3:03pm
...

I love replying to posts made by myself under different troll names.

Aug 07 11 - 7:13pm
...

At least you're an honest, illogical jock sniffer.

Aug 07 11 - 10:51pm
...

I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000, I am the Publius conservatron 3000.

Aug 08 11 - 8:08am
JockSniffer

I am the master of logical fellatio.

Aug 08 11 - 2:06pm
JockSniffer

I am sexually frustrated and quite possibly a closeted, self-loathing homosexual. Only prayer will help me.

Aug 09 11 - 9:54pm
Publius

The first step is admitting it to yourself, JS. Good job.

Aug 07 11 - 11:38am
DR

A black man having black performers at his birthday party, it was a preference not a statement.

Aug 07 11 - 7:35pm
Kat

Exactly.

Aug 07 11 - 8:19pm
HayBoob

So if a white politican prefers to have white entertainers, that's cool? I don't think so.

Aug 07 11 - 10:09pm
julian.

Um.

Aug 08 11 - 7:20am
DR

I really don`t see the issue, isn`t it most likely they asked Barry who he wanted, he thought hmm i like these guys, they booked those guys and that was that. I guess being British (half black) I don't understand fully the way every small detail gets picked over in regards to race in America. I don`t see any reason why a white politician who was raised listening to a certain type of music and having those entertainers regardless of race performing is anyones business but their own really. Like most debates in life I feel like i shouldn`t have gotten involved, nothing is ever simply Black or White.

Aug 08 11 - 9:49am
@DR

So he just prefers the company of African Americans?

Aug 08 11 - 11:16am
DR

As an african american, possibly yeah.

Aug 31 11 - 10:13am
Tina

It's much easier to unedrtsand when you put it that way!