Abercrombie & Fitch want to pay The Situation to not wear their clothing

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There are certain low points in everybody's life. Rough financial patches, difficult interpersonal relationships, job worries. But very few of us have the problems of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who is apparently doing such damage to Abercrombie & Fitch's brand simply by being himself that the company is willing to pay him to stop wearing their clothing.

"We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino's association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans. We have therefore offered a substantial payment to Michael 'The Situation' Sorrentino and the producers of MTV's The Jersey Shore to have the character wear an alternate brand. We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently waiting a response."

Wow. I don't know what's funnier about this: the fact that a company that makes padded bikini tops for eight-year-olds is worried about the damage The Situation could do to their reputation, or the fact that the company really believes that their overpriced White Person Clothing is "aspirational" in nature.

But, come to think of it, what's more aspirational than getting a television show, a book deal, and a small fortune by having absolutely no talent or discernible skills other than being obnoxious? I think The Situation's doing them a favor: Abercrombie & Fitch is a company obsessed with profiting off a highly manufactured vision of America, and what's more American at this point than reality television?