OMG. A girl totally masturbated for about three seconds on HBO's Girls last night. And apparently, that's still a big deal. And the internet's panties are all a-twitter.

In case you missed the best episode of Girls so far, Marnie tells an artist guy she won't kiss him. To which he replies by spitting back at her, Fifty Shades of Grey style: "I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little, because I'm a man. And I know how to do things."

Yeah! So there! Is it just me or can you picture him holding a lollipop and wearing a pinwheel hat? But, uh, way to tell a woman five inches taller than you that you can get it done. Anyway, because she's trapped in a sucrose relationship, Marnie gets turned on by his cojones and ducks into a bathroom to rub one out. And no, it's not the fact that she seems to be orgasming after three seconds that's shocking. It's the fact that she masturbates at all. 

Today, The Huffington Post wants to know what the actress Allison Williams thinks about her "shocking sex scene." New York Magazine, always inquisitive, asked Williams, "How did you prepare for the masturbation scene?" Method acting, people. Method acting.

To her credit, Williams has been relatively low-key in her responses. "I’m sort of fascinated that it’s being made into a thing," Williams told New York Magazine. "There were scenes that were more difficult for me to do than that one, and it’s interesting to me that people are fixating on it. I mean, little Sally Draper in Mad Men did it before me, so listen — I’m just entering her territory."

I for one, have a dream. A dream that someday women will be able to masturbate on TV (with their clothes on, mind you) for three seconds, and it will not be "shocking." Because guess what, we real Girls do it all the time. And it sucks that women still have so much shame about it.

So congratulations to the newly renewed series for making me laugh out loud at least five times last night, and for keeping it at least a little bit real. Next up, let's battle the television myth of the three-second female orgasm, shall we? 

Commentarium (13 Comments)

Apr 30 12 - 7:48pm
so, wait?

so this article is about how something that is being discussed shouldn't be discussed but it is anyway?

i'm just curious how to write my own blog. i should repost materials that are trending but then be all like, ugh, why are all these websites talking about this, i'm so cool for not talking about it, but, maybe i am talking about it (if you'll like me)

stay classy, nerve.

May 16 12 - 11:56am

I disagree.... I think it's reasonable to use a blogpost to criticize the silly reactions the media has to things. Otherwise, who else is going to point out the absurdity?

Apr 30 12 - 7:58pm

"...trapped in a sucrose relationship..."
If you meant to say that the relationship was genuine and honest, like the relationships of our forefathers, then good job. However, I suspect that you meant to say the relationship was hollow and artificial, in which case the word you're looking for is saccharin. You could also have modernized the idiom by using the word "sucralose", a modern artificial sweetener whose name, like the chemical itself, attempts to imitate the genuine sugar, sucrose.

Apr 30 12 - 8:55pm


Apr 30 12 - 11:08pm

I watched the pilot episode, but not this one...not sure if I care enough about the characters to keep watching it.

May 01 12 - 2:55am
A Big Snore

Put me right to sleep. The problem with these shows is there not really targeted for men. It's a women's idea of "hot". Truth is the scene was neither 'edgy' nor 'hot' ( "It's HBO").

May 01 12 - 2:20pm

that's a pretty idiotic and sexist comment to make. the scene wasn't meant to be edgy or hot, merely a moment in that character's life. the show never meant to be sexy or "hot", but i guess it was just too uncomfortable for you to think that women (gasp) masturbate.
HBO has done far more outrageous sex scenes than anything on Girls, and none of those scenes were neither edgy nor hot, unless of course, you're a 13-year-old boy.

May 02 12 - 12:41am

@A Big Snore, I like that you feel the main problem with this show is that it's "not really targeted [to] men".

...The show is called "Girls" and is being hailed as the "Sex and The City" of the new generation...I'm going to go out on a limb and say maybe it's targeted towards young women, because it's taking a look at young women's lives.

It's frustrating that your comment suggests that the show is somewhat useless, simply because it's not targeted toward men and therefore, may not interesting or enjoyable to men. It's possible that the creators of the show weren't catering to men when they came up with it...what a novel idea.

As the poster above mentioned, the masturbation scene wasn't put it the show to be's because it's a part of life for women and it's relatable for the target audience. If a show or a movie had a scene where a man masturbated, it wouldn't be seen as shocking in the same sense, because men are thought to masturbate quite frequently and with less shame than do women.

May 01 12 - 8:19am

The fact that a very few journalists who always have to drum up something or other are writing about this masturbation doesn't mean the general populace thinks it's any big deal or is even talking about it.
In any case, what else IS there to talk about with the show that isn't totally and entirely depressing?

May 01 12 - 10:08am

I think people have the wrong complaints about Girls. It's a piece of entertainment, yet it isn't entertaining, funny, or insightful. Its job isn't to change the world, or be the voice of the generation, its job is to entertain, and maybe ask interesting questions. It does neither.

May 01 12 - 2:43pm

"I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little, because I'm a man. And I know how to do things."

Wait, that's supposed to be hot? The more I hear about this show, the more I go from not giving a crap whether I watch it or not to actively hoping I never even see it by accident.

May 02 12 - 1:02am

To all the dudes complaining about this show, what did you expect it would be about? It's supposed to be a show about the lives of average just-graduated young women living in New York...If you don't think watching that would be entertaining, funny or insightful to you, or if after watching it, you find it's not edgy or hot enough for you...maybe it's because there's no way you would get it or enjoy it. Just the same way that I have a hard time enjoying Entourage, because it's a show from the perspective of men and lots of times, I can't relate to the feelings they have or the decisions they make on the show. Relatability is a big component of liking or disliking something; people don't like what they don't understand.

Obviously, the same goes for women who may not like the show...maybe they feel they can't relate to it, either. But in large part, if a show is not enjoyable for you, maybe it's not meant for you in the first place.

May 05 12 - 11:20pm

I'm a dude and think the show is great.

The scene with the Hobbit telling the Homecoming Queen what he wants to do to her was great.

Dudes, take notes.