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Hulu may require a cable subscription in the near future

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Hulu

Bad news for people who don't want to pay Time Warner, Comcast, or Kabletown: Hulu may begin requiring an "authentication" before it lets you catch up on Desperate Housewives. That means you'd need your cable or satellite TV account number to stream. Which means you'd have to pay for cable. I think I speak for everyone when I say, Hulu, I just hate you and I hate your ass face.

Now, the only concrete proof of this authentication deal is coming from unnamed sources of The New York Post, so this could just be some cruel anonymous prankster sending us non-cable subscribers into a cold sweat. But until that jag makes him/herself known, we have to live with the fact that free Hulu may be leaving us. If it does leave us, we also have to live with the fact that some huge dumbasses are running Hulu, because this seems like an incredibly stupid move of Qwikster — hey guys, remember Qwikster? — proportions.

Let me break it down for you Hulu overlords. People with cable don't need Hulu all that much since, you know, they already have cable. And the people who don't have cable probably won't buy it just to use Hulu; in fact, they'll probably pirate it instead. And even if they did get cable out of this decision, we then return to that whole they-don't-really-need-Hulu part. And then no one wants to buy ads on Hulu, because no one is watching it.

Sadly, when you think about it, Hulu's turn to the dark side is almost predictable. I mean, I won't say a service that offers Troll 2 in its entirety one day and then yanks it the next is the Antichrist, but I will say they're disrespectful of my feelings. And possibly the Antichrist.