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“Mad Men” and “True Blood”: recapping the sexy bits

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Oh, lordy. Our favorite Sunday night dramas, Mad Men and True Blood, continue their streak of being both crazy and depressing. And nothing gets us more in the mood than sad wackos, right? Sort of! I might want my shows to get a bit more randy, but they're both on hot streaks dramatically, so I'll deal. Now let's get down to the sexiness brought to us by Matthew Weiner and Alan Ball this weekend:

True Blood:

I Don't Care: Maybe Jason had sex with that meth-dealing chick. If the title didn't give this away, let me reiterate: I don't care.

I'm Bored, Take Off Your Clothes: God, Talbot, I am feeling you right now. I was also bored, what with the vampire law shenanigans and the shifter etiquette. Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting Eric Northman to take off his clothes and get freaky. Sure, his claim that he hasn't had sex with a vampire in a long time rings a bit false, but we could care less. (Spoiler Alert!) I guess it didn't work out for you so well, Talb, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.

Is This Porn: No, seriously, did that count as porn when Bill and Sookie had sex? Because I saw a lot of body parts moving against other body parts. It was angry and passionate, which was great, but we kind of hoped the two would stay apart for a bit longer.

Total: One off-screen act of sex, one on-screen act of sex that was hot and then violent, and another on-screen act of sex that was kind of both at the same time.

Mad Men:

This Sucks: Yeah, Don flirted with his sort-of niece. It was going so well…until it wasn't. Honestly, this was so depressing. Blergh.

She Works Hard For the Money: You guys. I love Mad Men, but I think we need to get some more sexiness up in this piece. I don't think I can handle all these sad prostitutes and clandestine encounters, as hot as they may have seemed when we first saw them. So yes: S&M hooker is back, though we don't know if she gets as freaky as she has. And she brings a friend (played by the awesome Elaine Carroll) for the increasingly displeased Lane Pryce. A fantastic bros night out, no?

Total: Two acts of prostitution, as far as we know. One insanely depressing revelation in the middle of a good flirt. We could do better.