Mad Men’s Jon Hamm will voice a character on “The Simpsons”

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Jon Hamm on Mad Men

The Simpsons has hosted a lot of cool people in its twenty-one seasons. Cool people like Sonic Youth and Thomas Pynchon — and nobody hosts Thomas Pynchon. So now that Mad Men is legally the coolest thing in the world, The Simpsons giddily announced that Jon Hamm will make a guest appearance in the cartoon’s upcoming season. "He was really funny," reports Simpsons producer Al Jean. "And handsome. He had it all."

Why is Jon Hamm suddenly the funniest man in the world? First there were his appearances on SNL and 30 Rock, which I had not-so-secretly wished were mere flukes. Then the devilishly good-looking Mad Men star killed it on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night:

He may have out-funnied Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy’s own show. About a recent celebrity ball-game he played, he joked about teammate MC Hammer, "There was not an ounce of quit in the man."…"You absolutely could not touch him."

This is all terrifying news for people like me, who have long picked up women by hiding behind our meager senses of humor. But competing against Jon Hamms of the world will be nearly impossible now that the Jon Hamm of the world is officially the total package. Guess it’s time to start learning magic tricks or something.