Snooki

Just when you thought it was safe(r) to venture to the Jersey Shore, or that Snooki's child might stand the slightest chance in hell, it turns out that there will be a sixth season of The Jersey Shore and it will feature expectant mother and human glow stick Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Because you know what they say about MTV: it is nothing if not classy, tasteful, and totally respectful of new cash ratings life.

The network announced today that production on the sixth season of The Jersey Shore will begin in Seaside Heights this summer and that all of "America's favorite housemates" would be back. That includes Snooki, though reps declined to say how big a role she would play in the season.

In case you lost track, the mom-to-be (still scary no matter how much you type it) is also filming a spin-off with JWoww, which was hilariously denied a permit to shoot in Hoboken last month.

I'm really hoping MTV and Snooki herself prove me wrong, but I can't help worrying how little Lorenzo, Jionni Jr., Tommy, Tony, or [cliche Italian girl's name] is going to fare in the third trimester around this merry band of alcoholic guidos and guidettes. Especially since the words "Uncle Situation" have no place in the English, or any other, language.

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